Sunday, April 18, 2010

Al Gore and Global Warming

The environment has been around for over twenty years. Polar bears have been around for over twenty years. Mr. Glenn has been around for over twenty years. Global warming, however, has yet to spring from the womb of Mother Nature. However, other things have sprung from her womb. Terrible things. Evil things. Things that make automobile drivers shudder and little children fear the future. A thing with a name that most people compare with Lord Voldemort. A thing such as Al Gore.

The surprisingly convenient truth, as a matter of fact, is that Al Gore is more than slightly delusional and could benefit from in depth psychoanalysis. Perhaps this would reveal a repressed memory of his mother locking him in a running car, emitting vast amounts of carbon dioxide in the midst of a scorching summer.

Al Gore calls himself an extreme environmentalist, but if he were truly such an advocate than he would have sacrificed himself in the name of Mother Nature quite a while ago. There would be only one solution if Al Gore’s delusion were fact. The only solution. The final solution. The sole reason for the destruction of the ozone layer and the detrimental effects it has supposedly had on our earth is human interference. We have intruded on over 85% of the earth and developed a surprising amount of land. So Gore asserts that humans have destroyed our earth via these Proxy-Connection: keep-alive
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rmful habits. This is CLEARLY not true. How could I know this? Well, let’s think logically here. If global warming was the result of human inhabitation then the solution becomes obvious.

Humans aren’t going to change their ways to suit Gore’s fairy tale, that’s unrealistic. We also aren’t going to give up land that we could drill or build or anything we could make a profit off of. Gore has one choice, and he would have suggested it if he, or any other environmentalist, were serious. The human race must be eradicated. We must exterminate ourselves in the name of morals and Mother Nature and selflessness and the pure earth!! It must be done!!

This is the only foolproof solution the fraud called “Global Warming”. Logically speaking, if Global Warming was real than these extreme environmentalists would have already proposed this solution.

Therefore, Global Warming is a sham.

Seriously speaking though, the only reason I said that the environment has only been around for about twenty years is because another student said that about poverty and I found it humorous. Also, I really hate littering because it shows how lazy and self-serving the human race is and little ducks sometimes choke on the plastic. I care about the environment, sure, and everyone hates raising gas prices and hearing about how cute little animals are dying because the rainforest or whatever it is this week is getting cut down but honestly, everyone and everything is going to die and get destroyed anyway so we should just recycle what we have and try and cut down on the greed a bit.

Also, since when did everyone else decide to brighten up their blogs with pretty colors.

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